The Biden family has spent decades perfecting a peculiar talent: turning scandal into a revenue stream. Hunter’s cushy board seat at Ukrainian energy giant Burisma. His sudden reinvention as a fine artist – hawking amateur paintings to anonymous buyers for hundreds of thousands of dollars a pop, no questions asked. The machinery never really changes. Someone connected to the Biden name profits handsomely, someone anonymous writes the check, and the rest of us are left scratching our heads wondering how any of it is legal.

The latest chapter might be the most audacious move yet. This time, the vehicle isn’t foreign energy money or overpriced canvas. It’s cryptocurrency. And the financial devastation left in its wake is both predictable and infuriating.

From the New York Post:

Four out of five people who bought into Hunter Biden’s new meme coin saw their investments go up in smoke during the cryptocurrency’s spectacular launch-day collapse on Wednesday – even as one mystery trader turned a roughly $250,000 bet into $1.18 million within minutes, The Post has learned.

An individual trading under a pseudonym spent about $250,000 to acquire 9,124 of Biden’s $LAPTOP tokens before unloading 8,480 of them minutes later for about $1.18 million, according a blockchain analysis by Datavault AI.

So. Many people lost money on Hunter Biden’s “meme coin” – eighty percent of buyers, to be precise – yet one mystery person walked away nearly a million dollars richer in a matter of minutes. Convenient, isn’t it? The whole thing reeks of the same arrangement we saw with Hunter’s art venture. Anonymous participants. Absurd valuations. Total opacity. Back then it was nameless collectors paying six figures for paintings a kindergartner might produce on a good day. Now it’s a pseudonymous crypto trader cashing out before the floor collapses. Different medium, identical hustle.

Was this yet another ruse by Joe’s son? The pattern practically answers the question for you.

The arrogance is the point

Hunter didn’t even attempt subtlety here. Before launching the token, he posted on X: “They turned laptop into a weapon. I turned it into a token.” Sit with that for a moment. The son of a former president – mocking the very scandal that exposed evidence of influence peddling and personal misconduct. Not hiding from it. Monetizing it.

The $LAPTOP token briefly rocketed above $300 during its chaotic debut before plummeting to just a few dollars. That’s a collapse of more than 99%. One buyer poured roughly $200,000 into the token near its peak and watched that position evaporate to about $2,000. That’s potentially someone’s life savings. Gone in hours. All so insiders could pocket their windfall.

A textbook rug pull

Datavault AI CEO Nathaniel Bradley was blunt in his assessment. He called the launch a “classic rug pull” – crypto terminology for a scheme where insiders extract value and abandon the project, leaving everyone else holding worthless tokens.

He went further, telling the New York Post: “To come out and say that a laptop coin is worth $300 is, in my opinion, fraudulent.”

Here’s the detail that should make your blood boil: Hunter Biden and his co-founders were allocated 30% of the coin’s one-billion-token supply. Thirty percent carved out for the inner circle before a single retail investor clicked “buy.” The house always wins – especially when a Biden built the house.

Who’s watching the henhouse?

The critical question hangs in the air, unanswered. Who was that mystery trader who turned a quarter-million-dollar bet into $1.18 million in mere minutes? How did they know precisely when to buy and when to sell? The blockchain, unlike the Biden family, doesn’t obscure the truth. Analysts say they will eventually trace exactly where every dollar landed.

Joe Biden’s sweeping pardon may have shielded his son from past crimes, but it shouldn’t cover what happened this week. The laptop’s contents surfaced despite every effort to bury them in 2020. The truth about $LAPTOP – the token – will likely surface too. Whether anyone in Washington musters the nerve to act on it is another matter entirely.

Key Takeaways

• Hunter Biden’s $LAPTOP meme coin devastated 80% of buyers on launch day.
• One anonymous trader pocketed nearly $1 million in minutes, raising obvious questions.
• A crypto industry expert called the launch “fraudulent” and a “classic rug pull.”
• The Biden family pattern of profiting through opaque, questionable ventures continues uninterrupted.

Sources: New York Post